From thanking the bridesmaids to raising a glass to the newlyweds, there is plenty of advice about what to include in a wedding speech. When it comes to what not to include, not so much. The truth is though; there are some things which are plain out wrong to say in a wedding speech. We’re sharing 18 of them with you today, so get ready to take notes.

18 Things You Should Never Say in a Wedding Speech

Avoid the embarrassment, awkwardness, and anger by not including these 18 things in any wedding speech:

  • When I met (enter the bride or groom’s name), I didn’t like them and thought that (enter the bride or groom’s name) could do better…
  • It’s time to kiss your freedom goodbye and say hello to the old ball and chain!
  • When I dated (enter the bride or groom’s name), we used to…
  • I’ve heard there’s trouble in paradise and…
  • Does anybody want to place a bet on how long this marriage will last?
  • I’ve been taking singing lessons, and I’d love to share this song I’ve been writing with you all.
  • Remember during your bachelorette party and how that stripper…
  • I am so drunk right now, so I hope I get this sounding right.
  • I think we all know who’s going to wear the pants in this relationship!
  • I am so happy for you both but thank goodness this wedding is over! I couldn’t stand to hear any more about your wedding plans!
  • Can I see a bump? Talk about a shotgun wedding.
  • Thanks for proving that Tinder can be a successful dating app.
  • Remember your ex? She was so hot; I just can’t see why you dumped her.
  • I hope you both beat the divorce statistics.
  • You were such a party boy in your youth. Remember that time we stole that car…
  • I’d just like to announce that I’m pregnant.
  • Marriage is old fashioned, but best of luck anyway.
  • Well, we can all guess what’s going to happen when the honeymoon starts tonight…

The aim of a wedding speech is to congratulate and celebrate the marriage of two people. Remember that, and you’ll do just fine. For more tips on how to write a wedding speech, check out our Bridal Tips Wedding Speeches section.